Graf 101: Ways to remove paint from your hands

October 7th, 2010 by

Let's face it, interior/exterior decorating is a messy business. You tend to get paint on your hands even if you're wearing gloves. This paint is hard to remove - so what do you do?

[caption id="attachment_1574" align="aligncenter" width="220" caption="She\'ll pump your gas, and your wallet."][/caption]


This story comes to us from one of our members:
"After bombing this spot by the subway tracks with paint we just found in some restaurant we were looting, me and my girl found our hands were covered in paint and grime. We stopped at a nearby gas station and asked for a bathroom. Upon seeing the paint stains and my girl's huge rack, Habi, the gas station guy - instead tapped some unleaded from the pump and showed us that even the worst of grime would come off when rinsed with gasoline. He stared at her tits the whole time but hey that's what she was there for. "

The source of this story is reputable, though I've not personally attempted this method. According to this survey very few people use unleaded to remove paint or to get high for that matter. Clearly these people do not understand the true spectrum of value available at your local gas pump, allah be praised!

Gojo/Boraxo/Grime Free

Commonly found in the cleaning supply section of Home Despot (that's not a typo). This stuff is generally cheap and good. usually it comes in big dispenser bottles (the dispenser never works), though on occasion you'll find portable sized containers that are more realistic for use on missions. Just use like regular soap. It does the job far better than normal soap.

'Grime Free' may or may not be available in stores. I've only gotten this one from railroad 'Crew Packs' - it comes in a small packet like ketchup or Mayo from a restaurant. This is good stuff, and we'll have a post some day soon about how awesome Railroad 'Crew Packs' are for missions.

[caption id="attachment_1580" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Butts"][/caption]

Salt Water

After a long night of bombing you probably will want to either go for a night swim or loaf around on the beach the next day, looking at butts. While you're there, dip your paint stained hands in the water and rub off the paint. This works magically, with no chemicals! (well, who the hell knows what's in the ocean these days...). Also great for if you're bombing those bunkers by the beach - just stroll on down to the water and wash up.

[caption id="attachment_1581" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Putting your hands up her ass won't solve you problem"][/caption]

Household Stuff:

Eye makeup remover, Nail Polish Remover, Petroleum jelly, Cooking Spray, Mayonnaise, and Olive Oil with Salt have all apparently be used for paint removal. I don't know anyone personally that has tried any of the above (except maybe nail polish remover), so your mileage may vary.


Shamwows will do nothing to clean your paint problems, though Vince Offer can absolutely help you keep you graff hos in line - which is serious business, since their ___ hold 4 times their weight in liquid. Bang Bang Bang it out!

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  • About The Author

    Bad Guy Joe

    Bad Guy Joe

    Bad Guy Joe knows more about the NYC underground than anyone else on or below the surface of this planet. He has spent nearly 30 years sneaking into NYC’s more forbidden locations. When not underground, he’s probably bitching about politicians or building something digital.

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