This starts slow – but read it all the way and between the lines…
Inside sources have disclosed that Monsieur Sarkozy & Fräulein Merkel intend to elope after the French & Greek elections.
Sources close to the couple said arrangements for their honeymoon have been already completed, and they have booked a very exclusive private villa on a Greek island.
The couple have reportedly expressed to close friends that their love for each other is much more important to them than their love for the EU.
Reporting farther into the Sarkozy-Merkel Eloping Affair reveals that the local Greeks on the undisclosed honeymoon-island are preparing a very special & very private welcome ceremony for the couple.
For Fräulein Merkel the local leather craftsmen are preparing a one-of-a-kind black leather wedding gown, high heel shoes, panties & bra.
A very expensive black leather whip was gifted to the couple from the Hellenic Equestrian Federation, chaired by Fräulein Merkel’s German uncle. The leather strips for the whip were made from the very rare olive color Greek suicide victims’ skin.
Goldman Sachs is sending them a NY Yankees Black Leather Bat, and Duane Reade Pharmacies is sending a gift basket containing jars of Vaseline & tubes of Preparation-H. The couple has indicated that they will be spending much time on vigorous Greek sports activities.
Also the local blacksmith has obtained Monsieur Sarkozy’s neck, wrist & ankle measurements for some special metallic jewelry to be custom made for him from smelting Euro coins. The African French Colonies Association has provided a rare antique chain used on slave ships, to complete Zarcozy’s outfit.
For the poor villagers themselves, they are counting on the French garden snails & Sauerbraten the couple has promised to bring along.
However many of them have not yet dismantled their Easter lamb skewers as they were not used, all the lambs had been shipped to Germany & France, suggesting that they might have other intentions for their use.
Some have suggested that the leaders of Greece’s two pro-austerity parties, New Democracy and Socialist PASOK, might consider joining the couple as their butlers.
EU & American Financiers & Banksters are organizing a special ceremony in memory of ‘ The Unknown Fallen Greedy Investor ‘.
All in all, this is expected to be one of Europe’s most celebrated events, ever.