|
STATEN ISLAND MONASTARY - 4.25.2004
The staten island monastery is a shithole.
plain and simple, this building isn't worth the ground it stands on.
It's hardly even a noteworthy location for exploration. If it wasn't
for all the annoying emails that come in asking "Hey, have you
been to the monastery? you really oughta see it" We wouldn't
even post this friggin page.
EVERYONE has been to the monastery. Duh.
Outside, the building looks old and fucked, inside, it's graffitied,
bashed, and toasted. rumors of billions of subbasements within this
building were proven to be as false and baseless as G. W. Bush's political
policies.
We care so little about this place that when VH1 came knocking, wanting
to follow us around for a night to film some bad reality TV, this
is one of the places we brought them. that was in December of 2002.
the next year, the building was sealed up. Whether or not the show
had anything to do with that is beyond my care. Why? Because there
are kids here every weekend with sledge hammers breaking in again,
and the next week, the holes are sealed right back up again. In fact,
the first time we ever visited this shithole there were kids with
sledgehammers in the basement, bashing in every wall they could find
in an attempt to find that hidden stairway to the 50th level where
the dead monks are.
W ell here's a fucking hint; there are no dead monks, and there is
no fucking 50th level. So shut the fuck up, and leave the sledgehammers
at home... or better yet, take the sledgehammers down to Washington
DC and start bashing some walls trying to find where our democracy
and freedoms are disappearing to. lord knows Bush hid them somewhere
around there.
I will grant the monastery one question though - one mystery, if you
will. on the night of our Vh1 filming, it was freezing cold. 10 degrees
F at the most, though 10 below more likely... When we went to the
basement, we found the flood waters both higher and unfrozen.
Why didn't it freeze? That was one cold winter.
I'll tell you why - because this is staten island. the place is one
big cesspool. nothing works as it should, and it was probably contaminated
by V8 juice.
Don't get the inside joke? well, fuck you too. this place sucks, and
writing about it sucks only a little less... Really. |
R oad in.
B aked Rooftop.
|
Side
Back, bonfires in the Cross
Interior photos to come some day, though they look just like every
other website's interior photos of this place, so go look there...
|
|
