Rod Stewart Is a NUMOT?
Or maybe just a foamer? And is there really a difference between them other than age and awkwardness? Surely you’ve heard all about how Sir Rod and his friends spent 26 years building a model train layout, and it is super detailed and awesome. Sure beats the one I grew up with, stashed under a bed.
Rikers Future
I was a little shocked to read that the top two leading proposals for Rikers Island include either turning it into a solar farm, or adding a new runway for LaGuardia Airport. Although I will say that any article that quotes Dan Doctoroff should be taken with a teaspoon of concern. Doctoroff is the asshole who proposed bringing the Olympics to NYC in 2012, and also proposed turning LIC into one huge Olympic village. You know, because those Olympic villages never become blight immediately after.
El Chapo’s Tunnel house Sells
A house once belonging to El Chapo that features an escape tunnel was sold last week at auction for $107,531. What an absolute steal. Think of how cool YOU could be with a secret tunnel house. Does Elon Musk have a tunnel built under his house? Mr Hyperloop probably too busy trying to figure out how to launch himself over to Mars before everyone figures out he’s just as big a scam as Adam Neumann.
Speaking of drugs and tunnels, here is a fluff piece about the US and Mexican governments claiming they are winning the war against tunnel digging drug runners. Bitch please. Instead of going to war with them maybe we should bring them all our cities and start having them build transit tunnels.
Press Press Press Press Press
Down in Tennessee, there’s a TV news show that does features on abandoned buildings. Sure, they get permission to film them, but they also report a bit on how they became abandoned, what each spots future might be like… Can’t hate on it. I could do that shit all day.
Too south for you? Head on over here and check out some Cali bando photos. Itching for something a little more ego-stroking? The Boston Globe just released this write up of an New England explorer. Some nice shots in there.
RIP Random Graffiti Artist / Explorer
The deceased body of a graffiti artist/explorer was found in San Diego, inside an electronics recycling warehouse that apparently caught fire in 2008. Gotta avoid those fire damaged buildings y’all. Shit ain’t ever worth it.
Photography is Legal
A Dallas, Texas photographer has won a $345k payout from their transit agency for unlawful arrest. The only thing cops hate more than people of color are photographers.
South Cacalacky ‘bando conversion fund.
Did you know there is something called the “South Carolina Abandoned Buildings Revitalization Act” and you can use it to renovate ‘bandos and start businesses? Here’s a fresh and spicy example. This is a thing—a bando restaurant in Florida is receiving a similar treatment.
Hart Island — public access?
Speaking of NYC Islands, The NYC city council voted 45-2 to turn over control of Hart island from the Corrections department to the Parks department. The rumor is that the island might see more public access, but I would say don’t hold your breath. Prisoners will still be there every week, burying the unclaimed dead. Over the decades, more than 1 million people have been buried on Hart Island. The city Parks department is notoriously under-funded, and has been known to completely abandon parks outside Manhattan. There are a lot of things the authorities will not want the public to see: aside from prisoners digging graves, there’s a nasty rumor among law enforcement types that NYPD Harbor patrol drops off bodies in a bin near the shoreline for prisoners to retrieve and bury later.
Sewer Scrubbing Robots!
The war against fatbergs may soon entail deploying armies of robots to clean that shit out. Soon, our drains will be filled with free roaming exploring robots who dine on fatty oil deposits! They will figure out how to procreate, and build a secret city of Zion under our streets! Then they will rise up and destroy the human overlords!!!
PS: Why dafuq are they making a Matrix 4 movie? None of that shit after the first movie made any kind of god damned sense.
Cuban Tunnel Runner still in limbo
Meanwhile in Canada, a Cuba who was living in the D and ran through the St. Clair tunnel to Canada has been in legal limbo for two years now. The tunnel is 6,129 feet long—and the Cuban—Miguel Padron, was 57 years old when he ran through the tunnel. Despite the diesel exhaust down there, he survived just fine. This dude can run track with me anytime. Rapido!
New Ferry Launch not the faint NUMTOT
Seriously, it looked it it was going to tip over. I’m like so not ok with this. Sure y’all gunna say it’s normal but y’all can’t just ease that thing in there? This ain’t sex in a yo mommas basement you got time!
Bando BBQ!
A small ‘bando in Hammond, IL burned up. When I saw the headline I was worried it might be a bigger, better bando… but some old tire shop? Let that fucker burn. Same goes for this shitty bando in Jacksonville. Bust out the marshmallows. Meanwhile, looks like Salt Lake City had not one but two squatter fires, one in a house and another in a very large looking store.
International Update
Some people in the UK seemed to lose their shit when an explorer posted a very basic photo of himself near a reservoir plug hole. What’s a ‘reservoir plug hole’? Do you reaallly want to ask that question? The answer is underwhelming.
The UK press is also still very obsessed with the bathroom-tunnel-hatch-to-the-underground-grow-house story. Meanwhile, down in London, there’s a new article about Winston Churchill’s bunkers.
Also in the UK, there is some paywalled construction related news website that has an article about Explorers posing as construction workers and how to stop them. Bitch please. When a worksite has a billion guys coming in and out, good luck stopping everyone and asking for ID—especially here in the states where undocumented workers are commonplace.
Need something a little more interesting? Get your Indiana Jones are at these ancient catacombs, newly discovered in Saqqara. Art in a ‘bando? Polska has something for that… Or maybe none of this is sexy enough for you? Maybe you need to get a room at one of these Japanese “love hotels“, complete with fetish rooms. Dirty kinky masked freaks probing their zoom camera lenses up someone’s ass? Maybe they got a room for that. I mean you never fucken’ know until you go… and if they ain’t got whatever your kink is, maybe you can start your own sexy time bando hotel? Ain’t no one gunna stop you. Pop that shit up.
AND THAT’S A WRAP.
A’right kids, having fun? Enjoying this weird ass newsletter? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! Assuming you are, forward this shit to every explorer you know. Subscriptions are up but we gotta get that shit way the fuck up to make this thing the awes it should be. Got stories we need to cover? BRING IT! Email, DM via the socials, all that shit. Catch you on the flip.
LTVSquad.com is the blog of NYC's most notorious team of explorers. We bring you a unique roasted blend of content culled from the fringes and dark underbelly of this fine city. Consider us an Autodidact's guide to urban exploration and adventure.
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