Exploring News: Chips Guac and Queso

Published on: January 8th, 2020 | Last updated: January 7, 2020 | Written by: Bad Guy Joe

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Chepe Caught!
Chepe, Brooklyn’s Subway Tunnel Loving Raccoon, was trapped and released in Prospect Park. He’ll probably move into the Q line tunnel and make his way into the Zoo via the secret passage down there, but I wouldn’t know anything about that or waking up the walrus at 3AM for fun.

Gary Schools Demolition.
The new mayor of Gary, Indiana wants to force the city’s school district to demolish ten of the thirty schools that are inactive or abandoned within the city by March 5th. The school district is already in the process of selling some of these properties, so the new mayor’s demand sounds a lot more like some negotiating tactic or attempt to make a big splash than a well thought out strategy. Anyway: If you happened to have explored any Gary schools, check out this article and see if NBC stole your photos. It’s a little odd to see a news outlet publishing photos without credits.

Boring Loop
Elon Musk is still touting his ‘hyperloop’ tunnel in Las Vegas, which he claims will open next year. Check out the renderings of this dumb thing and ask yourself alllll the basic questions—because it seems like the press hasn’t asked any at all. Despite this, one must wonder if the tunnel construction is explorable yet…

Nashville ShootEhmUp
An apparently homeless man barricade himself into a Nashville, TN ‘bando and shot at cops. No word on if he was arrested… which adds an unexpected flair to this story. Fuck the po-lice :).

Philly doing right by tunnel dwellers?
From the sounds of this article, the city of brotherly love is going to try and get homes for homeless tunnel dwellers living under their convention center. Hopefully it works out, and doesn’t involve some crazy ass eviction shit like what went down in NYC’s Freedom Tunnel in the 1990s.

PENIS MAN
PENIS MAN is the graffiti hero you need to know about. Apparently PENIS MAN is way more prolific than Iowa’s Mr. Poopy Pants. Get this man some erectile dysfunction meds quick!

Boston Bandos unwanted attention
The rear wall of an abandoned Boston building collapsed just before renovations were set to begin, and now Bahhhston media be like what about all this autter shite buildings?

Cali Squatters Be Like…
Yeah we do drugs so what? Sacramento normals are all offended that squatters have been using a strip of bandos to sleep in and try to stay warm in during this winter. Maybs your government should stop sucking off oligarx and come up with better solutions?

ONE LESS BANDO!
West Virginia is working away at taking down bandos, this time crushing down an abandoned bar in Parkersburg.

A bando house in Macon, MS yielded this hilarious quote: “Try to keep your abandoned house closed up and locked up to keep children from playing in there. We have a number of abandoned houses that have caught on fire,” said Macon Fire Department Chief David Estes.” Uh… Sure. Yeap. America.

Bando BBQ!
The Middletown Paperboard facility in Ohio caught fire again, this time causing the collapse of a big portion of the building. This was a pretty big fire, that will be burning for a few more days — which speaks to the size of this one mighty bando. Cops somehow caught up with a homeless person who reportedly lived inside, and have charged him with arson.

Rebrand
If y’all haven’t gotten a look, check out the serious rebranding we just dropped on the LTVsquad.com site. What choo think of the new logo colors and such? There’s still a few fine details we’re picking through, but the broad strokes are there. We’ve eliminated a lot of cruff, and some services, like giving tours and the web store, are on indefinite hold. When they return, it’ll likely be seasonal. Products in the store will be of very limited quantities.

International Update
The gobshites of Highways England are going ahead with the abandonment and filling in of the old Queensbury Tunnel in West Yorkshire. Locals want to repair and reuse the tunnel for a bike path, but those Russian backed conservatives are bent on destroying every aspect of the empire they can from within.

OH NOES! A Squatter has moved into a UK bando ALMOST CAUGHT! WOW! SO ILLEGAL. I’m always amused how this stuff rates news articles abroad, though I must say, this one contains some good info on the various UK trespass laws, should one be heading on over to that side of the pond…

An abandoned Scottish mansion that once belonged to CoCo Chanel is about to be redeveloped into a hotel… Business Insider has some good photos of how it looked as an empty space.

New Zealanders in one town are all in a fuss over an abandoned hospital where kids ‘go in and have a bit of a party’. Losers. Stop complaining and go join the fun.

AND THAT’S A WRAP.
Universal Studios spent two hundred million dollars to make Cats and at no point did anyone question them on if the public wanted to see overly sexualized felines on the big screen with a story line that makes absolutely no fucking sense? What a time to be alive. Do yourself a favor, herd all your angry fun loving fluff friends and go make a mockery of this great American dumper inferno. And yes, DO smoke a lot of catnip on the way.

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