Exploring News: Conspiracy Leery

Published on: April 8th, 2020 | Last updated: April 7, 2020 | Written by: Bad Guy Joe

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Covid Crime is Legit Grime
Latest available numbers show 1 in 6 NYPD officers are out on sick leave due to the virus. Burglaries have become the crime of choice, with an incredible 76% increase in stores, businesses and construction sites being broken into and looted.

The first NYC inmate to die of The Rona was a man named Michael Tyson, who was being held in jail on a minor parole violation. New York State basically served this man a death sentence, for some tiny infraction. Good Job Cuomo, you fucken mozzarella ball.

Now is as good a time to remind y’all that wearing a mask in NYC is actually still illegal. I’m kinda surprised the quota-starved cops haven’t gone out and started making arrests. With Cuomo upping ‘social distancing’ fines, I give it another week or two tops before some cop gets really creative.

Q-Anon Mole People Cover Up!
Wonkette has an amazing story on how the Q-Anon conspiracy theory cult believes the Covid-19 virus crisis is just a way to force people inside while their god-like hero Donald The Jackass Trump rescues children hidden under Central Park by Hilary Clinton. They believe that is why the USNS Comfort was sent to NYC.

Followers of this cult are actually dangerous. In 2016, a North Carolina man went and shot up a pizza joint in DC, under the belief that children were being locked up in it’s basement. And just last week, An unhinged sociopath QAnon railroad engineer decided to purposely derail his train located near the navy hospital ship in LA.

Comically, the railroad in question, ‘Pacific Harbor Lines’ is owned by the same company that operates freight trains in Queens, Brooklyn and on Long Island, where locomotive engineer hiring practices were previously a bit… lackadaisical. Fortunately none of them have attempted to run the trash train past the end of track in Long Island City in what would surely be a very failed attempt to reach the USNS Comfort (located on the opposite side of a river, and the entirety of Manhattan).

Here we are in 2020, where every damned thing is still considered by many to be ‘fake news’ or some pseudo-Nazi Proud Boys role playing game.

Graffiti Highway No More
Last week we reported on how “Graffiti Highway” just outside the abandoned town of Centralia PA had become a tourist trap filled with Covid-19 partying idiots. Well, today the inevitable happened: the owners of the former highway have decided to cover the highway with dirt, in an attempt to stop people from coming.

ASS: Assorted Subway Shenanigans
Graffiti writers paid tribute to Garrett Goble, the train operator killed in the recent, still unsolved terror attack that set a subway train on fire. The police questioned another suspect but have made no arrests.

On a whole, subway service is extremely limited right now. We’re talking trains every half hour, during the day. As more and more train crews fell sick or into quarantine, there have been fewer and fewer to run trains. On the one hand this makes the subway super explorable right now. On the other, the whole damn system is probably filled with the Rona. How hard you wanna gamble?

Shorties:
The billionaire fallout bunkers of South Dakota have become more and more of a news story. Once the prize of prepper weirdos and sociopaths, owning a bunker is definitely going to become a thing going forward.

There are currently not enough slots at crematories to quickly deal with the growing number of dead bodies.

G raffiti writers have been wilding out during the Rona. Here’s a story about Portland (Oregon) writers on a rampage. Socialist graffiti has also appeared widespread in Edinburgh. There is also an artist who is trying to get artists around the globe to go out and paint on the same night. “Do it for earth day” seems to be the theme. I’m not sure how that will actually play out considering most of our media outlets are very far to the right of reality, but we’ll see.

Some complete weirdo has a bunker under a restaurant in the West Village and I guess it’s ok if you’re planning to live off eating roaches?

If you’re keen on looking at some exploring inspiration, well, here’s the latest listicile for that.

Holy Numtot batman! Mexican drug gangs took their tunneling game even further recently, by constructing an actual rail tunnel.

Also LOL how to properly board up a bando house. Good luck with that shit.

Bando BBQ
Yikes that’s one big bando house fire aye?

Toronto sure does seem to have a lot of big vacant downtown bando fires.

Fire completely destroyed an abandoned schoolhouse in the southwest.

International Update
Bucharest has has mole people, and their encampment sounds somewhat similar to the former camps in NYC’s Freedom tunnel.

AND THAT’S A WRAP
So last week I woke up with an unexpected, crazy ass fever. Was this the Rona? Was I suddenly dancing with the devil while laying on my office floor at 3AM? It a pretty stressful 24 hours that I scribbled about in a series of tweets. Whatever it was, it has now been five days since I had any elevated temperature. Have I now transitioned to the other team? The immediate future will divide the world into those who had Rona and developed immune responses to her disgusting ways, and those who are still vulnerable.

I’ll never know for sure until there is some kind of post infection testing, so I’ll just keep being careful… though not nearly as paranoid as I was. 80% of people who get this virus self-resolve. Some get sicker than others (likely due to how much you were exposed to). “The Beast” doesn’t play, so be ready to fight if it comes knocking. Of all the incredibly stupid ways we could all die, don’t let this be it. Besides, we’ve got riots to prep for.

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