Exploring News: Don’t Choke

Published on: April 16th, 2020 | Last updated: April 14, 2020 | Written by: Bad Guy Joe

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CooCoo for Covid
Some fancy parts of Manhattan are seeing significantly less residential trash—likely because the rich smug motherfuckers have run away from NYC. Trash volume is up in most other parts of the city though.

Interestingly, much of this trash is hauled out of NYC via freight train. In January, I noticed a significant amount of extra trash cars being stored on tracks usually left vacant. What did DSNY and Waste Management know that we didn’t?! IT’S A CONSPIRACY! 😛

One woman in Spain has decided the best way to not catch the Rona is to run around naked and dance on police cars. ACAB!

Hey all this could be worse, you could be snowed into a ghost town you just bought, slowly running out of food and melting snow for drinking water. All work no play makes Jack a dull boi. All work no play makes Jack a dull boi. All work no play makes Jack a dull boi. All work no play makes Jack a dull boi.

ASS: Assorted Subway Shenanigans
The subways late at night are a fucking ghost town. Do as you will with this information.

Shorties:
Will Covid kill off more of small town America? We’ll know more in the months ahead, but it’s definitely looking like some places are going to be hit extremely hard.

Are you ready to go surfing on a huge Hawai’i open drain?

On a sad note, NYC’s rodents are getting into turf wars and eating each other due to the lack of food left behind by subway writers. I recently witnessed a rodent deep underground in an area where you’d never expect to see rats (due to lack of food down that deep).

Officials in Chicago have lost their shit because a company doing demolition work at the old Crawford power plant decided to implode the smoke stack over the weekend, resulting in a blast of chemical laden dust falling on nearby neighborhoods. Can’t wait to see how many lawsuits result from this one.

LOL one California city has voted down the construction of a new hotel, in favor of keeping their ‘bando 🙂

A graffiti writer had to be rescued after falling out of a precarious AF looking drain in Arizona. Derp. Shoulda brought a surfboard dude.

Bando BBQ
A gritty little bando party spot in LA got a bit toasty last week. Also in AlllAYYYE firefighters discovered a dead body after a fire in a small ‘bando storefront. To my dude who started that fire: There are more discreet ways to dispose of bodies. Just an FYI.

Fire also ripped through a fun looking bando restaurant in Anchorage, and a low slung long ass bando in Seattle.

International Update
A 42 ton FATBERG was found in Australia, which I suppose isn’t surprising given the recent shortage of toilet paper there.

UK Mustard Gas Tunnels? Sure.

AND THAT’S A WRAP
If you’re curious what happens when a city full of vehicles that are constantly in motion suddenly stops, well, read all about it in the most NUMTOT thing I’ve produced this year.

Comments

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