Exploring News: Essentially Distant

Published on: May 29th, 2020 | Last updated: May 26, 2020 | Written by: Bad Guy Joe

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Suicide Climber on the Brooklyn Bridge
NYPD Special Ops somehow talked a guy down off the top of the Brooklyn Bridge last week. He claimed he was going to jump, but if that was his plan he would have done so before all the cops showed up. That’s not to say this isn’t a disturbed soul right here… but if I see him in a year claiming recovery and being an influencer I’mma gotta slap the shit out of someone.

WHITE BOOMER NEWS
Imagine being out in the middle of the ocean with internet and no idea that a pandemic has closed off much of the world due to travel restrictions? That is exactly what happened to a small but wealthy people who were in boats of various sizes sailing around the world. If you can put aside the shear whiteness of this story, it’s a fascinating read.

Speaking of things white people do, buying cheap houses in remote Italy has been a thing lately. So what happens when you get stuck there during the virus? For one guy, it has gone pretty well. Of course, he’s white and has money so sure why not.

I’m having a hard time imagine the sane scenario playing out in our remote US towns. Sure, the neighbors would probably be nice, but they might also kill you for food. Who can say? And in a remote area, there won’t be many witnesses, so you’re not likely to get caught. Getting away with murder, what could be more white?

ASS: Assorted Subway Shenanigans
The MTA is now experimenting with disinfecting subways with UV lights. It will be interesting see how many rodents use these subway cars as tanning booths.

A SWARM OF SHORTIES
Here are a few interesting examples of what can happen when nature takes back the bandos.

Brooks Brothers is likely closing their slightly infamous tie factory in LIC. Pro: Maybe one more bando. Con: That’s a fucked up lost of some great manufacturing jobs. Why can’t this space be converted for manufacturing PPE?

Protesters in Chicago are against the restarting of demolition work at the old Crawford power plant. Just two months ago this was the site of a ridiculous smoke stack implosion that engulfed a neighborhood in contaminated dust. It looks as though this work will happen because the site ‘isn’t safe’. Sure. OK.

Speaking of Implosions, a 21 floor office tower in Richmond will be imploded soon, for no describable reason.

Fox News in Memphis is complaining about an abandoned K-Mart, whose parking lot has become an ad-hoc landfill. Hey wasn’t Trump supposed to make America something and so on?

LOL check out this newly minted elected guy in PA who wants to get rid of abandoned buildings. Also in PA, “Graffiti Highway’ is finally completely covered in dirt, according to SKOOK NEWS.

Elon Musk’s Boring Company just completed drilling out it’s second tunnel under Las Vegas. Perhaps it will be named 2/A3+F16 ? Meanwhile, in Ann Arbor Michigan, there’s a new tunnel under some tracks.

Somewhere in the middle of nowhere a senior class tried to sell their abandoned school building, for the LOLZ.

Hospital Content OMG!
Two months ago, it was made deadly clear how few hospital beds NYC has. The reason for this is simple: we closed dozens of major hospitals here in the last twenty years. I’ve explored a ton of them, but never properly documented them all online. So in preparation for Covid’s next wave, I’ll be going back editing and reposting allllll sorts of good old hospital stuff. To kick things off, check out Kings County Building G: the only facility notorious enough to host both The Son of Sam and ODB. And if you want some intriguing health care & surprisingly socialist history, check out this updated posted on the Willoughby Nursing Home.

Foam Dome
Ah yes, a new section for all sorts of Bando Foamer News 😛

Norfolk Southern RR is abandoning their historic Roanoke, VA rail shops. On the one hand this should make for a fun exploring spot. On the other, Roanoke is taking one more shot to the economic chin and the locals are a little flustered. This editorial attempts to explain away the corporate greed but doesn’t quite hit the mark. It’s right about Coal being dead, but leaves off the trend towards overall corporate location consolidation (or in the case of office space: elimination) and the cutting of corners in the name of ‘shareholder profits’. “Precision Railroading” is part of the problem—with RR’s running significantly longer trains to maximize profits, even if they occasionally have to stop and block road crossings. Twenty thousand railroad workers have been laid off in the last year due to this trend—and that’s twenty thousand fewer people ensuring safe operations. There’s a few other facts that ain’t quite right in that article, but disregard them and scroll through the historic photos at the bottom.

Segway into our Bando BBQs, a Freight Train set an abandoned building on fire in Maine. Yes you read that right. Hail FreighTan!

Bando BBQ
Apparent squatters in Elkhart, Indiana set their garbage bando apartment building on fire. How is this the only Bando BBQ of the week?

International Update
Albanians are protesting the pending demolition of a theater Tirana. Can you imagine New Yorkers actually violently clashing with police to save a building? Our REBNY bought and paid for politicians would lose their minds. Nikolai Fedak would have to flee NYC and go live in the woods where he can go back to dreaming up ideal dystopian cities in SIMS.

There are always more secret rooms under the UK. Always. And OMG TUNNELS WOW. Like subscribe comment! Meanwhile, urbexors and other hooligans are ruffling some feathers by sneaking into spots that others are trying to save.

Future Office Bando Seance
As more and more companies tell their workers they can stay remote for months, weeks and forever, one must wonder just what will become of all that office space in major urban areas? Will they ever reopen? This isn’t a purely urban issue either—when companies leave the ‘burbs, they leave behind empty offices that are basically worthless.

Many companies are talking about having perhaps 25% of their original office capacity. It makes extreme sense in pure capitalism terms: why spend all that money per month on office space when they can shift the burden to employees, and pad the companies profits? Our future may finally be office-less, and places like Manhattan may never be the same.

Besides, is anyone going in there and running some water to prevent other diseases?

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Comments

NOTE: It sometimes takes a short while for comments to be approved - unfortunately there's a lot of spam comments that come in. I absolutely love when y'all share personal stories of friends relatives etc who worked in these places. It really helps capture what these places were like before they closed up shop.

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