Exploring News: Self Isolate From Social Media.

Published on: March 26th, 2020 | Written by: Bad Guy Joe

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Fuck Six Feet, I’m Crossing the Damn Street.
Going to start off this newsletter this week on a paranoid note.

Fuck Six Feet, when you see someone coming cross the street. if there was ever a time to be more paranoid than usual, this would be it. My advice goes beyond what you’re seeing in the news. Don’t stand in lines. Food shop once a week or try to get delivery. Bag and wash anything you brought outside once you get home.

The state might not be recommending these measures but if this virus can live on a surface for two days, you need to treat everything accordingly. if you assume everything is contaminated, you’ll be safer for it.

For all y’all out fucking around, be careful and Don’t Get Caught like this derp in Rome (which is under complete curfew). The jail situation right now is really fucking ugly.

Like I’ve said before, smash and grab robberies are definitely going to be up now. The photo above is of the Fresh Direct demolition site last weekend. There used to be two guards posted here. On Sunday, there was no one, and the gate was cut open. I didn’t bother looking around but I suspect any PPE and cleaning supplies were looted. Toilet paper is the new copper. Disinfectant is liquid gold.

I’ll be posting a bit about exploring the old Fresh Direct site later this week or next week. it was a fun time.

Every House Needs a Bunker
The Washington Post has an interesting story about a DC area home formerly owned by a CIA Spook, who had a nuclear fallout bunker built under it.

Is that too Quaint for you? How about buying up this mansion: “built to withstand a nuclear attack. There was an indoor bomb shelter, plus an underground cave — complete with oxygen tanks for aeration — accessible only by swimming through a secret tunnel within the backyard pool.” Now that’s what I’m talking about. The rich guy who built it was apparently super paranoid, yet also dated Zsa Zsa Gabor once. I bet they had sex in that bunker. Yeah. Do it. 😛

OMG OPRAH SECRET TUNNEL BABY SEX!
Speaking of big boobie famous people, right wing nutcase trolls are at it again, this time claiming that Oprah Winfrey was arrested for having sex with children in a secret underground tunnel below some house in Florida (because of course, Florida). Obv there’s not a lick of truth to this. But it’s 2020 and the weirdos who quite literally believe Trump is a god number deep into the thousands online.

FATBERGS!
From dirty sex to gross, we now turn to YOUR ASS: With everyone disinfecting and finally wiping their asses, the risk of Fatbergs is on the upswing, and media coverage of this topic has exploded. Only now with covid-19, we’ll have limited sewer workers to unclog that shit. So seriously, just wash your god damned ass in the shower, you filthy animals!

ASS: Assorted Subway Shenanigans
This is wild – some crazy ass bish dragged an oxygen tank down into the Nevins street subway stop, and threw it in front of a train, causing an explosion. Cops are gunna charge this EDP with terrorism…

The C train is for CANCELLED. Also Covid-19. Pick your punchline people.

Shorties:
Here are some ‘bando houses in Joilet that are slated for demolition, including one where a dead body was found.

Dallas has a weird pedestrian tunnel network. Who knew?

File under SRSLY?
The anti-car nuts are using Covid-19 to try and get the city to close streets to vehicle traffic so people can social distance more. Uh, how about NOT GOING OUTSIDE?. Hey I know! The city is about to be overrun with crime let’s assign cops to stand around blocking streets. MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.

Meanwhile, all those ‘Urbanists’ who think density is the answer to everything, well… we can all see the hole in that theory now. They are trying to counter this argument by pointing to Hong Kong and Singapore, though the temperature in both is well into the 70s and 80s- the regions experiencing warm weather have significantly lower infection rates.

Bando BBQ
A grand old abandoned hospital building in Arkansas was torched last week. What a waste of a cool looking spot.

Boise had themselves another ‘bando arson fire.

Some Dumbass squatters set their ‘bando medical office building on fire in NOLA.

International Update
While you’re bored at home, you can check out live museum video feeds, and if you’re really gross, you can view Museum of London’s fatberg live feed. Ironically it didn’t work when I clicked on it but maybe you’ll have better luck?

The London Tube started shutting down stations last thursday, as the Brits finally come to terms with reality.

Meanwhile, up in Scotland, the natives have built a roadblock to keep Londoners from carrying the virus up to their neighborhood. This is some 28 days later style shit going down right here!

AND THAT’S A WRAP
LOL when I’m not exploring I’m dropping extreme quotes and historic context in the New York Post.

Comments

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