Exploring News: World on Fire edition.

Published on: January 3rd, 2020 | Written by: Bad Guy Joe

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Santa was the original Rooftopper.
To wrap up the holiday season, there is this: some explorers in Seoul had some fun with a Santa outfit. Because Santa was the original rooftop adventurer.

Russia: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONGS TO US
The Russians know how to troll the world. This time their military has taken up residence in at a base that the US abandoned in Syria. Comrades, this is the true spirit of UE right here: waste no time. Once a building is abandoned, get in that shit and see what you can find! убить всех американцев!!!

Crazy Guy: ALL YOUR NYPD STATIONHOUSES BELONGS TO US
The NYPD has the best security. Absolutely the best. This guy shoulda snuck into the property room and stolen all the goods what can you do with crazy people.

Yeet those Bodies.
C’mon peoples: if you are going to dump a body don’t do it in a bando. Durham, NC cops found just such a corpse last week. If you’re going to get rid of a body you gotta burn that shit in a hole, put the bones in a 55 gallon drum, fill it with ready mix, and sink that shit. Oh wait did I just write that? Nevermind. Nothing to see here.

Mr. Poopy Pants is the Banksy of Iowa
I’m not sure of this old bath house is abandoned, but it was covered in some seriously stupid graffiti recently. Even the piggies had a good laugh.

BIRD GOD
Looks like some hapless Parks Dept. employee left their tree pruning truck unlocked with the keys in it, and some rando decided to swipe it and use it to write BIRD GOD on Brooklyn’s Grand Army Plaza. Comically, one anti-union media owner claimed this tag wasn’t filled in very well, as if stealing a cherry picker and putting up a huge tag in broad daylight wasn’t the most bad ass graffiti hit of last week. Fuck the toy loser haters, and tthank you, sweet ornithology lover—for bringing life to a drab old relic of city normalcy.

SaneSmith X Supreme
Supreme did some right by graffiti culture, releasing a Sane Smith shirt. Complex magazine took it to the next level interviewing Smith about the shirt, the Brooklyn Bridge mission, and graffiti in general. I for one am always psyched to see to see my dude’s get recognition. The SaneSmith name is part of what inspired my subway tunnel obsession.

Squatter beaten by cops
A bay area squatter has filed suit against Concord police for severely beating him, and sticking a police dog on him—all for the crime of sleeping in an abandoned building.

St. Louis Blight Authority?!!
This story is ridiculous. Apparently Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey, a man who is too chickenshit to throw noted white nationalist Donald Trump off his platform, is funding an organization bent on demolishing abandoned buildings in St. Louis. They should focus on rebuilding these spaces and providing affordable housing. And maybe make sure their ghetto roads don’t contain improvised spike strips used by goons to try and trap and loot people. (LOL fuck you goons! Nice try but you can’t get bad guy joe!)

Jesus Loves Bando Squatters
I mean that’s the moral of this Florida story, right? Yeah, don’t bother clicking through unless you’re all about reading fluff pieces based on a women who moved into a ‘bando to save on rent and pay off her student loans and then found The Jesus and now lives happily ever after.

I mean shit maybe I’ve got it wrong — maybe the moral of the story is that it’s OK for student loans to literally force someone into homelessness, and that this is perfectly normal? Praise our corporate banking overlords for punishing this lady and making her get right with the Jesus?

Fuck YES I’m overthinking this one! And Fuck this centralist NBC story.

KalamaKooKoo Murderer
An accused murderer in Kalamazoo, Michigan was arrested after hiding in an abandoned home for two hours. Upon arrest, he “claimed he was a sovereign citizen who doesn’t recognize any government and said his name was Supreme”. Perpetual presidential candidate Vermin Supreme had no comment.

Bando BBQ!
Up in Washington State, a $3 Million dollar abandoned home, filled with stuff and a long driveway of abandoned cars, caught fire and burned to the ground. Sounds like someone had one hell of a party! if that was you, don’t post shit about it online, and hell, invite us next time!

A big ass 40k square foot ‘bando warehouse in San Diego bit the dust last week.

A long abandoned, fire prone dump in Las Vegas lit up again. Two tiny fires were lit at an abandoned water park in Salt Lake City, causing no real damage.

In obvious news, even ‘bandos in New Zealand are subject to arson fires.

International Update
OMG there is an abandoned nursing home in the UK that smells like URINE! OMG! SMELL SO STRONG! ALMOST DIED!

Also OMG secret UK tunnels the look on that ladies face in this article makes this worth a click.

The UK is really the gift that keeps on giving: Cops in Gloucester tweeted out a photo of the inside of a ‘bando night club, asking followers if they recognized the place. Sounds like a dragnet to me! NEVER TALK TO COPS!

“The egg of Beyrouth” is the latest architecturally notable middle east bando to become the adopted home of revolutionaries.

Greek Anarchists are pissed about cops raiding ‘bando Squats.

If you happen to be in Taipei, check out this urbex related art show because fuck it why not.

Swimming in one New Zealand lake was temporarily banned after a gross Fatberg blocked pipes and caused crap to spill into the waters. Whatever. NYC yeet’s loads of shit into our harbor and that doesn’t stop anyone from going to Rockaway Beach…

A gross old building in Australia is likely about to get torn down. Fuck no I ain’t paying to see this article, but the photo says it all. Ecccck.

AND THAT’S A WRAP.
Here we are in the new year and just three days in, the US seems to be hurdling towards a massive war, all because the orange clown doesn’t want to be impeached. Meanwhile, Australia is literally on fire. The pace of climate change is faster now. We’re heading towards a cliff…

One of the things I’m personally going to do in 2020 is actively push for better solutions, starting on a very local level. I’ll be volunteering my skills to far left political campaigns, because they are literally the only ones with any plans at all to start fixing any of this.

It’s 2020. Words are not going to cut it. What actions are you going to take?

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