The Musk.
Turns out that new tunnel smell just reeks of being… underwhelmed. “Passengers will be transported in a Tesla Model 3 or Model X at speeds of up to 35 MPH. The tunnels are expected to open in January 2021.”
35mph? Wasn’t this thing supposed to run at three hundred billion miles per hour or something.
Tennessee Lunacy
Republicans in Tennessee are going out of their way to show what a bunch of racist ‘law and order’ idiots they are by introducing a bill to further criminalize camping (outside government buildings in protest) and tagging up government buildings (even if only with CHALK!). Their goal is to make both a class E Felony, so they can pour more people into their for-profit prisons.
New Chicago Implosion Law
After the botched demolition working taking place at Chicago’s former Crawford power plant, the city may pass a law adding some restrictions to the practice. The new law would require neighbors to be notified, public hearings and a big sign… as if any of these things are enough.
Demolition of the old Crawford power plant is set to begin again soon.
ASS: Assorted Subway Shenanigans
The MTA is expanding it’s pilot program of turning subway cars into UV radiated cancer lounges.
Why are the subways not open 24-7 again yet? Why has the city and state governments not come up with a way to address the homeless problem?
A career criminal stole a motorcycle last week and dragged it into the subway. The Post article whines at length about bail reform, and why this guy is on the street—but it doesn’t ask why courts take so long to hear these cases. If you get a desk appearance ticket in NY, it can be three months before your court date. They highlight how this guy has had 10 felonies and clearly wants to be in jail, but doesn’t address the policy gap that lets this guy wander off after jail stints with apparently nowhere to go and no other option than to do crime and get back into jail.
A SWARM OF SHORTIES
An abandoned middle school in South Carolina is likely to be bulldozed and replaced with apartments, with all the corporate welfare a ‘developer’ could ever hope for.
Remember that crazy dude who broke into a bando lab in Houston and started selling Mercury to randos at a gas station? He has plead guilty and is heading to jail on a three year sentence.
As expected, lawsuits are already being filed against the NYPD for their terrorist attacks against the civilian population of NYC. Unfortunately the payouts won’t come directly from the police officers pension funds.
And those cops—of course they are big mad tracking down and arresting anyone who did any major unrest during the recent riots. There are dozens of stories out there so I’ll just link this one: where black teenagers have been arrested for tagging on St. Patrick’s Cathedral. If this were a mosque that was tagged up, I doubt the cops would have bothered…
Austin is trying to regulate abandoned buildings, and in doing so has come up with a good checklist for anyone new to this exploration game needing to deter the eternal question: “‘bando or nah?”
The New York & New Jersey Port Authority has decided that late night traffic nightmares are totally the way to go, and have closed the Holland tunnel at 11pm. During overnight hours the repair work is reportedly underway to fix damage from Hurricane Sandy. That’s right – they’re either only getting around to making repairs 8 YEARS later, or they’re lying.
Bando BBQ
Arsonists finally burned down this San Diego building, after apparently trying and failing four times before. Think that’s bad? Firefighters in Fresno have been called to one ‘bando complex more than 400 times to battle various fires!
A historic bando apartment building in Georgia was destroyed after two dumbass explorers ‘accidentally’ left burning cigarette butts inside.
A strip of abandoned storefronts with apartments above in West Virginia were completely destroyed in a fire last weekend.
International Update
Cops in Spain found an epic drug tunnel, located under a fountain. Worth a read for anyone into underground lairs.
Want to see an abandoned mall turned into a art exhibit in Bangkok? Of course you do.
Vladimir Putin is forcing anyone who visits his house to be hosed off in a ‘disinfection tunnel‘. I was tempted to make ‘Hot Wet Dictator Tunnel’ the subject line of this email but I’m sure the spam filters would have exploded.
And that’s a Wrap:
Have you gotten your NYS Slave hand sanitizer yet? Pop on the IG to check out this and other mock-products I’ve been cranking out to raise funds for BLM. I’ll be writing up some small donation checks this week. Don’t gotta be huge to make a difference. Stay tuned for the relaunch of the LTV Loot Store (soon come).
Get this news earlier!
You really want to sign up for the newsletter version of these updates. It comes out Mondays or Tuesdays, while we post this web version online on Thursdays or Fridays. This week I’m making a rare exception, considering how absolutely fast news is breaking.
Leave a Reply