Exploring News: SpeedFreaks

Published on: April 22nd, 2020 | Last updated: April 21, 2020 | Written by: Bad Guy Joe

---

THE REIGN OF THE SKI MASKED FREAKS
NY State governor Andrew ‘Nipple Tape’ Cuomo has now made wearing a mask in public MANDATORY. This is a complete reversal of New York’s existing ridiculous Anti-mask law, which was last used in 2012 to arrest Occupy Wall Street protestors. By apparently overriding this law, Cuomo has further muddied the waters of what was an arguably constitutionally dubious law, he has effectively supported and endorsed the idea that we should all wear masks all the damn time. I mean let’s face it, everyone puts on a mask in some form or another. I for one am glad the legal ramifications of expressing my true self are now completely eliminated.

Kookoo for Covid
The few New Yorkers who are actually driving around town these days are, in some cases, driving as fast as they possibly can. The Times is reporting that vehicle speeds are up 85% some some boroughs, and speed camera tickets are now double what they were, despite fewer cars on the road.

These numbers honestly don’t jive with my own experience driving around town. Nearly everyone is keeping it at the higher end of the limit, except on highways, where the speed limit is usually 45 and not enforced unless you’re going over 65. Thus, everyone on the highway is moving at the limit typically seen in the suburbs and many other cities across the US. One can also easily argue that statistically, cars used to move 15-20 mph on traffic filled highways, so these increases in average numbers really don’t equate to diminished safety on highways. But shhhhh don’t tell some anti-car nuts out there—they’ll dox you and write mean stuff about you on their fake news websites.

Meanwhile, the NYPD & NYC Government decide it was way more important to seize a reporters drone than to provide access to the mass burials happening on Hart Island. Like it or not these burials are newsworthy and should be documented and reported. Because clearly, some people just don’t understand pandemics.

Strippers Need Support Too
And I’m not taking bras here. The adult entertainment history has been spanked by the Rona, leading to at least one strip club trying to sue for some… stimulus…

ASS: Assorted Subway Shenanigans
Subway robberies are on the rise, so we’re right back at the bad old days, only without graffiti covered trains. The subways are still filled up with random homeless people sleeping and making a mess of the place, with some of them dying of the Rona while in the system.

Meanwhile, three anti-MTA dim witted city council members want the subways and buses shut down to prevent the spread of the Rona. I guess none of them got the memo that nearly all yellow cabs and FHVs are now in storage.

Attack of the Covid Fatbergs
Because people are Gross, the world is seeing a big increase in reported fatbergs.

Shorties:
NYC graffiti legend Nic 707 past away last week.

A downtown San Antonio ‘bando is scheduled for reuse. 🙁

What happens when an airplane hits death row?

Bando BBQ
Some random idiot set a fire in a Texas bando then hung around and waited to get arrested.

International Update
In the UK, expendable workers are being allowed to ride through a tunnel normally reserved for car traffic. Unfortunately they won’t be letting anyone move into this amazing set of ‘secret‘ tunnels though. Because in the UK, there are ALWAYS more secret tunnels (and abandoned buildings!).

In Bucharest, a tall bando tower is being taken down.

AND THAT’S A WRAP
This is one of those rare weeks where I feel like there’s not much else to say. Here we are, stuck in this ridiculous situation, with a failure game show host as president. We’re witnessing a huge suction of money out of the pockets of people who had so little to begin with. Absolutely none of this is going to end well. A death by guillotine would be too good for some of these evil right wing motherfuckers.

Comments

NOTE: It sometimes takes a short while for comments to be approved - unfortunately there's a lot of spam comments that come in. I absolutely love when y'all share personal stories of friends relatives etc who worked in these places. It really helps capture what these places were like before they closed up shop.

If you're feeling salty, argumentative comments completely devoid of facts (supply links to support your argument) will not be published. Got a case to state? come with the details.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.