XN: Graffiti Outbreak

Published on: July 21st, 2020 | Last updated: July 20, 2020 | Written by: Bad Guy Joe

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Massive Graffito Outbreak!
Graffiti is back, and NYC is all the better for it. Graffiti is part of the very fabric of NYC. It is part of our creative soul. The true ‘bad old days’ of NYC were the Ghooliani/Bloomberg days when the streets were clean, sterile, and used for marketing tax shelter high rise condos to billionaires. Hopefully those days are dying now. Partial cause of death: a billion paper cuts from tags and throwies. Shout out to “Fuck 12”, who went all city during this pandemic. ACAB baby!

To add a little frosting to this cake, NYC’s ridiculous 3 million dollar graffiti removal program is now officially dead. Good riddance. Real estate developers can pay to maintain their own property.

And on one last note of good news, Jerry Wolkoff, who vandalized LIC by destroying the legendary cultural institution known as 5 Pointz, has died. History will look back on his greed negatively. NYC could have maintained an international tourist attraction and created a true arts district in LIC. Instead it was sold out by elected officials (at least one of whom really doesn’t like being criticized, despite having seemed to learn his lesson and rallying against overdevelopment now).

Tunnel Fatberg Tech
Apparently the UK has such a huge problem with Fatbergs they’ve turned to installing tech in their tunnels to detect fatbergs and other sewer blockages. They could just sue the fatberg manufacturers (wet wipe companies) but hey we cannot offend those monster corporations now can we?

“Real Estate Developers” = Billionaire Goons.
A vacant building near the Queens Midtown tunnel collapsed, after construction workers at a high-rise apartment construction site next door failed to underpin the building. This sort of thing happens at least once a year in NYC: where real estate “developers” just don’t give a fuck if they destroy neighboring buildings, just so long as they can throw their luxury tax shelters together fast.

Team Banksy Fail
Believe it or not, as much as I love graffiti and street art, I’m not a fan of Team Banksy. You see, Banksy isn’t one person, it’s a group of apparently very well funded artists working in tandem. It’s just a cheap loathsome gag.

Comically, they released a video last week of some art they installed on a London tube train. Subway car cleaners just buffed it right off, treating it like any other defacement. Good for them. If they’re going to buff all the graffiti, no one deserves special treatment. No one. A Revs or SaneSmith canvas is way more valuable today because governments are so hell bent on destroying them. To treat Team Banksy differently would be counter to everything that graffiti is about.

Stacking up the bodies
A few dead bodies were found in bandos last week. A 22 year old transsexual, and a 53 year old florida woman were both found after firefighters were called to the scene to extinguish small fires in the bandos.

The 22 year old transsexual was originally reported (in the link above) as a man. As it turns out, their death is just part of a disturbing trend of trans PoC’s being murdered across the country.

I tend to poke some fun at all things found dead around ‘bandos but I’mma thinking I’ll be dropping this dark comedy going forward. Behind every corpse is some kind of struggle.

ASS: Assorted Subway Shenanigans
Cops are once again beating up the homeless on the subways, and Manhattan’s fake ass, trash can motherfucker DA Cy Vance has actually charged the victim with felony assault of an officer. Literally any other option: from employing social workers to permanently housing the homeless would have defused or completely avoided this preposterous situation. Instead we’ve got a right wing city government that rather hand the NYPD a blank check, and a DA’s office that can’t see reality.

Transit systems around the world are still struggling to figure out a post-Covid plan.

If Metro Man had super powers, what would they be? Would he be a race-tinged vigilante like Bernard Goetz? Would Pizza Rat be his sidekick? Would he be able to telepathically communicate with rodents? If he gathered all the infinity stones, would he use them to wipe out the MTA’s massive debt? My money is on him disappearing half of subway riders in order to ‘restore balance’ to the system.

Also Why is he a He? The Metro Man name clearly states he’s a man, but whose to say a robot thingy has any sexual orientation at all?

Have I thought a bit too much about Metro Man this week? Absolutely. The possbilities are endless I tell you. Metro Man is very underrated. Y’all need to get on this.

In other news, several MTA repair and expansion projects are going to be shelved because Trump hates everyone in the NYC area. Literally everyone. So don’t kid yourself Long Islanders. You’re not special.

A swarm of shorties.
Washington DC sure has a lot of tunnels for a ‘swamp’.

A water main popped open in the Lincoln tunnel and OMG WE GUNNA DIE! Srsly tho what’s with these drivers who stayed in their lane and didn’t GTFO as fast as they could? I’d be Audi 5000 bish.

The Jesse Lee Children’s home in Seward, Alaska is going to be demolished.

This story is short on details but someone was murdered in a Chicago ‘bando last weekend. Gotta be careful in them big city bandos…

San Jose is looking into blowing an untold amount of money to allow Elon Musk to ram some tunnel tech up their butt. As usual, taxpayers will likely have to grin and bear the cost, without KY…

Speaking of tunnels, the Daily News has some opinions about all the varied plans to fix up or replace the 100+ year old tunnels leading to Penn Station. Call me crazy but I’ll believe the experts over an editorial board on this one. They should do their homework and read Conquering Gotham. Those tunnels are beyond their useful life and must be supplemented.

Generally speaking I avoid the fuck out of fake news, but this story about aliens living in tunnels on Mars… I half expect Trump to bring this up as if it’s real.

ACAB
Journalists reviewed hours of footage from the recent BLM protests and to the literal surprise of absolutely no one, they found dozens of examples of inexcusable rioting by cops.

Closer to home, drunks in Astoria were partying too hard for the NYPD to handle, so they did some copaganda theater Sunday night, swarming Steinway street with officers. I find this story pretty hilarious because Astoria has always had an outdoor drinking culture, with massive cafes that took up entire sidewalks. If Covid-iotism was going to take hold anywhere, it was definitely going to be Steinway and 30th ave.

Steinway is also deep in LTV roots, back when we were just a small team of graffiti kids scribbling on roll down gates and getting up in the Muni Lot between Broadway and 31st ave.

Bando BBQ
This South Carolina bando and a San Antonio ‘bando motel were completely obliterated by fire over the weekend.

International Update
Railworkers in the UK discovered an ancient skeleton while constructing a new high speed rail line. That’s right: the UK is building more high speed rail lines, while the US is still fumbling around in Covid-Hell. Thanks Obama!

This UK plan to build a tunnel near Stonehenge just keeps running into more and more problems… idk maybe just leave it along and force people to book reservations far ahead of time?

And that’s a Wrap:
I’m going to die, you’re going to die. We’re all going to die sooner or later. May as well live your best life, now more than ever. Go ahead, bomb them streets, break into those bandos, break open that rooftop door.

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