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Published on: April 21st, 2021 | Written by: Bad Guy Joe

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What’s the Goss
Well well well, if it isn’t our favorite unhinged bridge climbing incel sociopath back in the news! If you’ll recall from last summer, M*alik S*anch*z climbed up part of the Queensboro bridge, where he sprayed mace down at pedestrians and waited to be arrested, all the while wearing a speaker broadcasting fake bomb threats.

To the surprise of no one, he continued his woman hating ways, wandering Manhattan harassing females and going so far as to make a bomb threat outside a restaurant on Valentines Day.

He’s now facing federal charges that might land him five years in jail. This is in addition to at least 19 New York State charges ranging from Harassment to Criminal Possession of a Weapon (with intent to use). These republican kids are just really bad at crime. Maybe Matt Gaetz is his role model?
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Two Russian adventurers were arrested for trying to climb a bridge in Mumbai. if this news article is at all valid, they were not the smartest of explorers. I believe half what I read tho… Anyone know their instas? Who were these cats?
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Street racers shut down the I-94 tunnel in Minneapolis and good for them.
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@Driftershoots was arrested AGAIN, this time traveling back to Ohio from a court appearance in LA, which he explicitly got permission to go take care of. He was again arrested with weapons drawn, and seriously, the only conclusion one can draw is that the detective in this case is spreading an insane narrative about Drift, maybe hoping he gets murdered by a nervous, poorly informed cop. He’s obsessed, and clearly not happy that the judge was swayed to drop the ridiculous near half million dollar bail he was on.

ACAB & Allies
The minute I saw this story about someone in a fake Amazon delivery truck hauling away NYPD owned barriers I knew it was actually an undercover NYPD vehicle. Of course the cops will never fess up to it, but local gossip is that the nearby station commander absolutely hates these open streets folks. Also, just think about it: if you had a fake Amazon truck, would you use it to steal a few bucks worth of scrap metal? It has been a solid week since this story popped and there has been no follow up news since. I’m sure if this was an actual crook, they’d be all over finding him.
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File under LOL: NYPD is now looking for volunteers to paint over graffiti. A) Why is this NYPD’s Job? B) Why are they being paid for this? C) Why are taxpayers funding all this paint? Stop blowing taxpayers money: legalize graffiti.
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I won’t rant about Derek Chauvin. If it wasn’t for the brave souls who recorded the encounter and testified against him, he’d be free today. I also jive with the ‘here is what is possible when cops tell the truth about a bad person’ vibe. Reminds me of what happened to Abner Louima. If that one Sargent didn’t step up and testify against Justin Volpe, he would have walked free. So while Chauvin’s guilty verdict is justice, what has really changed? Twenty years since the Louima case and the situation feels infinitely worse today.

Shorty’s Short Shorts: A BUFFET OF BANDO DELIGHTS
Some ugly ass renderings of the proposed reuse of the old Delaware Power Station in Philly have been posted online and ew-not-ew? At least they won’t be demolishing the whole place.

Biden’s infrastructure plan has the capitalist ghouls all lined up. Hey so long as we get some new tunnels to explore…

Check out Mr White Guy here who bought a Bando in Indiana and got press for working to restore it. Yeah I’m jealous, though I’d do that shit in Kansas, or maybe SoCal…

A homeowner in Alton, Illinois found a bonafide, certified long forgotten brick arch tunnel under his property. It looks to date back to the 1840s, and its origins are unknown.

OMG WHAT’S INSIDE THIS ABANDONED HOLIDAY INN WHO CAN GUESS?

Thus huge Fatberg is coming to crawl up your sewers and eat your babies.

Seattle has named their new Tunnel Boring Machine “MudHoney”. I guess my vote for “Cobain’s skull postmortem” didn’t make the cut.

E*on M*sk’s stupid ipad-car tunnels under the Las Vegas convention center are now completed, and they’re obviously not ‘hyperloops’, with cars that move through the tunnel at a snails pace.

LA is building a new 7 mile drain tunnel using a TBM and I bet that shit gets tagged before it is even completed.

That Bando Fire Bug in Lexington has been SLAPPED with additional arson charges last year. He apparently torched at least 6 abandoned buildings.

Two dead men were found in an abandoned school and well maybe next time don’t get detention my dudes they don’t feed you and you might never leave.

An abandoned building in Louisiana is going to be converted into a pediatric hospital, which just sounds wild to me. In my town, we close hospitals faster than a subway conductor on the express when that local rolls in.

Abandoned Building BBQ: GIRL GANG ACTION
GIRL ARSON GANG ALERT!!! That’s right: four ‘bored’ girls set an abandoned building on fire not far from Pittsburgh, and were caught because they posted that shit online.

A fun old looking bando in SW PA collapsed last week and while it probably died of natural causes it would be great if it fell at the hands of some girl gang, just so I could link these two stories.

Someone had themselves a little ‘bando house fire spree early one morning up in Canada. Sometimes you can’t stop yourself…

A homeless person in Spokane accidentally torched the stairs outside a bando youth center. Fortunately for the unhoused person, he or she hasn’t been caught or arrested.

And that’s a wrap…
April showers bring powers for hours…


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