Bando State Secret to be Revealed
Nearly four years ago, New York State commissioned a study to reopen the long closed LIRR Rockaway Beach Branch (which entirely runs through Queens). Apparently the results of that study will be revealed before the end of the year. This could go either way: the study might falsely claim rebuilding this route isn’t possible. It might also claim that it’s both entirely possible and would cost far less than the billion dollar boondoggles know as East Side Access and the Second Avenue Subway—though the rumor at the moment is the *cheap* option came in with a six billion dollar price tag. I’m not even sure how that’s possible unless they’re including personnel and rail cars in that cost.
Regardless of which way this study goes, Queens needs more transit options. If we want this entire city to be more sustainable and less car dependent, we must rebuild this route. It really is that simple. You’re either on the side of the environment, or you’re a brain-worm addled republican boomer that should move to Florida. Don’t at me bish.
Because Of Course.
A deranged man who killed four homeless people in Manhattan this past weekend was living in an abandoned house in the Bronx. The Post did a little bit of UE and got photos of his former living situation.
5 Pointz Fuckery
In other local news, the idiots on the local LIC community board have again let notorious liar/developer Jerry Wolkoff have his way because he promised space for a library. If you read between the lines, it seems no one has actually talked to the Queens Public Library about this. I’ll bet a wooden nickel we won’t get a library there.
For anyone that doesn’t know, 5ptz was a large former water meter company made famous in movies and via legal graffiti walls, that was torn down in the name of capitalism. But not before it sat abandoned for a few months. We were, of course, the first to raid it, looting all the valuable stuff before the other “urban explorers” showed up. 😛
Man evicted from Worlds Largest Bando
The city of Detroit went ahead and evicted Allan Hill, the only legal resident of the former Packard plant. Allan lived in a warehouse at the Pack for years, and was well respected. Explorers would often park their vehicles outside of Allan’s building knowing it was one of the safest spots in the otherwise lawless chaos known as The Packard.
Looters Gunna Loot!
Check out this looting video. A) This is just further proof of how bad the UX is of fancy coffee makers. B) He took the pods but not the machine? And look at that poor packing technique! This guy is really bad at looting. He had 3 hours in there and this was the best he could do? C’MON SON!!!!
‘Bando Nashville
Nashville doesn’t just have music, it’s got bandos. Lots of bandos.
Bando Beautification projects
Because of course a SCAD student wants to make their bandos look good while they rot. More power to her. Get that press.
On a similar note, artists got together in Memphis to legally decorate some a former bando, which will apparently be reopened soon as a community arts center.
PLUG
In the latest in a series of Brooklyn Navy Yard bandos, we head to Building 128, where some of the world most legendary nautical death machines came together.
File Under Derp
When you decide to kill a roommate and leave their body in a ‘bando, it’s good form to not talk to the press about that building. Also how did they not just set the building on fire? Everyone Is Doing It.
ONE LESS BANDO!
Speaking of bando BBQs, a former ‘energy facility‘ in Springfield, Ohio burst into flames for the third time since August. Fire also toasted a former “children’s village” just outside Cleveland. Arsonists set a ‘bahhhhando apartment building in Ohio on fire, twice. The second time around they finally got the job done. Ohio sure does seem to have a lot of ‘bando fires.
Not to be left out, Florida Man also took out a tiny bando in Inverness, not far from Tampa.
On a far more positive note, here’s a story about two guys buying ‘bando houses, fixing them and flipping them for a modest profit.
Billionaire Bunkers
CNN has a story on how billionaires are prepping for doomsday. Instead of, you know, working to save the planet, these selfish idiots are prepping bunkers. Myself and Tizzimmmaaahhh visited one of these former military facilities in South Dakota two years ago (not realizing it was being converted). A middle aged weirdo lady drove up to the gate as we considered our options and said ‘nah we don’t let the public in’ before promptly speeding back inside the gate. In the background we could see tiny bunkers and the burned out remains of several looted-long-ago buildings. Must be nice to be so wealthy that you can throw away money on weird fantasy bunkers located at a bando in the middle of nowhere.
International Edition
There are more news stories about secret tunnels in England than there are brain cells in Nigel Farage’s head.
Speaking of secret tunnels, North Korea is basically hollow, and when you crack open the earth, billions of guns bombs soldiers and nuclear warheads will emerge to kill you.
Programming PSA
Whatever you do, don’t follow my twitter account (I’m 100% serious). The only thing you’ll regularly find there are my hard left, socialist rants, and the occasional bando photos. You see, I read all this republican and centralist psycho-pathological bullshit in the news all day and use that twitter account for catharsis. Sure I’m going to Salt Bae some anti-capitalism in here, but I channel the majority of it over to that trash fire. So if you’re into that sort of thing, GREAT. If not, well, carry on Wayne. #DadJokes #FuckTrump
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