April Fool / eXploring News

Published on: April 1st, 2021 | Last updated: March 31, 2021 | Written by: Bad Guy Joe

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What’s the Goss
Remember how a couple of weeks ago some non-profits tried to take control of the former Reading Spring Garden building station in Philly? Well, rather than lose their property to some shady ass government sanctioned looters, the owners have decided to demolish the structure. This is why we can’t have nice bandos.
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Shocking up true: The former 9th avenue elevated subway stop under the Major Deegan was filled in with dirt and is being walled up. RIP Sedgwick avenue: one of NYC’s oddest, most accessible abandoned subway stops. Back in 2000, the tunnel from this location, under 162nd street was sealed up. It is unknown if this section of tunnel was properly backfilled (if the Atlantic Avenue Tunnel or the old Croton Aqueduct are any indication, it was not). The only known photos of this section of tunnel come from some subway fans who explored it in 1999—a few small grainy photos from that trip can be found here. Assuming this tunnel was never filled in, will it crack open in a mystery sinkhole some day? Will the press dig back far enough to know who to point their fingers at? Call me up future reporters, let me tell you all about it 😛 (thanks Steve P for the tip).
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Should we sell NFT’s of various smells collected from the DANK basements of abandoned buildings? Who wants to get in on this most extreme form of digital scratch and sniff?

Are scratch and sniffs even still a thing? If so can you get some made with cocaine yet?

ACAB
The NYC City Council passed a bunch of window-dressing changes to how the NYPD operates, ending qualified immunity for officers who violate citizens civil rights. Comically though, the city will still cover those officers lawyer fees and pay any settlements—making the whole thing pointless.

Shorty’s Short Shorts
Ergh. This story of an accidental death in a Toledo ‘bando is not an easy read, and as always a reminder to watch what the fuck you’re doing in these spots.

Underground Birmingham getting that press shine aw yeah.

Neighbors of this abandoned Church in Memphis want it gone because they are no fun and don’t believe in Satan. Losers.

A big ole’ bando in Cleveland is probably going to be repurposed, assuming no one bungles this deal.

British parents are worried about their kids going exploring over Easter and uh… what’s the problem? GO WITH THEM! Families that crime together stay together.

Researchers have locked 15 people in a cave for 40 days and I’ll bet you 30 cents that adding numbers to a story like this is 90% more confusing than necessary.

There’s a followup story on that kid in the UK who died while exploring last year but yeah I can’t bring myself to read the whole thing. RIP.

It figures that a publication named after a guy who is full of shit would publish an article about Fatbergs in America. If you’re curious you’ll have to give ‘el bloombito‘ a fake email addy to get past the extortion/pay wall…

Seattle might name it’s new TBM “Sir Digs A Lot” and I’m here for it.

The Gateway tunnel project is still stumbling along it seems. For whatever dumb reason, team Biden is dragging its feet and won’t fund the project for a few more months. If there is a ‘sense of urgency‘ why the big slow? The existing tunnel is crumbling, and will probably have to be abandoned some day.

Bando BBQ
At some point Fresno is going to run out of crappy abandoned buildings to burn, which is fine because in another few weeks all of Cali will be on fire anyway. Maybe Biden will tell them to ‘rake the forest’ like Trump did.

A hot mess building in Edmonton burned up last week and I’d totally throw a party in there anyway. Come for the missing floors stay for the exploding paint cans.

Cops in Lexington KY actually caught a bando arsonist! That’s literally shocking. Every week y’all see me reporting bando fires and maybe 2-3 times a year someone’s actually caught.

And that’s a wrap…
Regular readers of this thing will notice that this week I just threw international stories in with everything else. Sure this is a US based publication but exploring is global and simplifying all this can’t hurt.

Also slowly chipping away at doing a store drop. The merch is lining up slower than I’d like but I’ve got some hot shit brewing.

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